Cozy Cursing Ritual: Release Anger Through Banishment

Opening Reflection

There are moments when someone's actions—or an institution's deliberate harm—leave you holding a white-hot coal of anger. You've tried processing it gently. You've tried understanding. But some betrayals don't deserve your endless compassion. They deserve to be named, witnessed, and released so they stop burning you from the inside.

This ritual isn't about sending harm into the world. It's about refusing to carry someone else's rot in your body. It's a symbolic banishment: a way to say 'I'm done holding this for you' and mean it. You'll speak your truth aloud, burn or bury the weight of it, and reclaim the energy you've been spending on fury. This is anger as boundary, as medicine, as the door you close so something better can grow.

Materials You'll Need

• Paper and pen (dark ink feels satisfying for this work)
• Fireproof container (cast iron pot, ceramic bowl, or metal trash can) if burning, OR a small shovel and outdoor space if burying
• Matches or lighter (for burning variant)
• Optional: black candle to mark the ritual's beginning and end
• Optional: grounding items—salt, stones, or a cup of cold water to hold afterward
• Optional: ritual journal to document what shifts before and after

Time needed: 15 minutes for quick variant; 45–60 minutes for deep work.

Quick Banishment Variant (15 Minutes)

1. Set your space. Sit somewhere you won't be interrupted. Light a black candle if you have one. Take three deep breaths and say aloud: 'I am here to release what no longer serves me.'

2. Write the charge. On your paper, write exactly what you're banishing. Name the person, the institution, the pattern. Be specific and unflinching: 'Fuck [name] and all that they stand for. May what they have built crumble under the weight of transparency.' Write until your hand cramps if you need to.

3. Speak it aloud. Read your words out loud, even if your voice shakes. Let the air carry the truth you've been holding. Say: 'I release you. You no longer have space in my body or my life.'

4. Destroy the paper. Burn it in your fireproof container and watch it turn to ash, OR tear it into tiny pieces and bury it outside. As you do, imagine the anger leaving your chest with every flicker or rip.

5. Ground yourself. Wash your hands with cold water. Drink something. Touch the earth or hold a stone. Say: 'I am here. I am whole. I am free.' Extinguish the candle if you lit one.

Deep Banishment Variant (45–60 Minutes)

1. Prepare your space. Cleanse the area however feels right—open a window, burn incense, or simply tidy the surface you'll work on. Light your black candle and sit with it for a few minutes. Notice where the anger lives in your body right now.

2. Write the full story. Don't hold back. Write every detail of the harm: what they did, how it felt, what it cost you. Write about the gaslighting, the lies, the structural violence. Let yourself be as petty or as profound as the moment demands. Fill multiple pages if needed.

3. Name your banishment. On a separate sheet, craft your banishment statement. Use your own words or adapt: 'I banish [name/entity] from my energy, my thoughts, and my future. May their harm be revealed. May their lies collapse. May I be free of carrying their weight.' Make it as fierce or formal as you need.

4. Speak the banishment three times. Stand if you're able. Hold the paper to your heart, then read your banishment aloud three times, louder each time. Let your voice crack. Let yourself sound angry. This is your truth.

5. Witness the burning or burial. If burning: place the papers in your fireproof container and light them, watching until they're completely ash. If burying: tear the papers thoroughly and dig a hole outside, placing them in the earth and covering them completely. As you do this, imagine roots drawing the poison down and transforming it into something inert.

6. Reclaim your energy. After the papers are destroyed, place your hands on your belly and breathe slowly. Visualize the space the anger occupied filling with golden light or cool water—something soothing and yours. Say aloud: 'This energy is mine again. I am sovereign. I am done.'

7. Close the ritual. Wash your hands and face with cold water. Drink something nourishing. Write one sentence in your ritual journal about how your body feels now versus when you started. Extinguish the candle and thank yourself for doing this hard work.

Safety and Consent Notes

This ritual is symbolic banishment, not a hex. You're not sending harm—you're releasing your attachment to someone else's toxicity. If you're worried about ethical boundaries, frame it as 'May truth find them' rather than 'May they suffer.'

Fire safety is non-negotiable. Burn only in a truly fireproof container, away from curtains, papers, or anything flammable. Have water nearby. If you're unsure, choose the burial method instead.

This ritual may bring up intense emotion. Crying, shaking, or feeling exhausted afterward is normal. Have a plan for aftercare: a friend to call, a comforting show to watch, or simply permission to rest.

You cannot banish someone from existing. This ritual is about energetic boundaries, not magical control over others' lives. It's a way to stop giving them free rent in your head, not a way to punish them directly.

If anger feels unmanageable or turns inward, consider working with a therapist, especially one trained in somatic or trauma-informed care, before or alongside this ritual. Righteous anger is healthy; anger that harms you is a signal to seek support.

Reflection Prompt

Reflection Prompt

After the ritual, journal or sit quietly with this question: What am I now free to do with the energy I was spending on anger? Notice if your shoulders feel lighter, if your jaw unclenches, or if you sleep differently in the nights that follow. This isn't about forcing forgiveness—it's about noticing what space opens when you stop carrying someone else's weight.

Banishment Ritual Checklist

• Gather paper, pen, and fireproof container or shovel
• Choose your variant: quick (15 min) or deep (45–60 min)
• Light optional candle to mark ritual space
• Write out exactly what you're banishing—be specific
• Speak your banishment aloud at least once
• Burn or bury the paper completely
• Ground yourself: wash hands, drink water, touch earth
• Notice how your body feels before and after
• Optional: document the experience in a ritual journal
• Plan gentle aftercare for the rest of your day